Porn is not just pictures or videos of sex – it is a particular type of sex. Most of the time this simply isn’t the same as real sex:
Fantasy bodies, fantasy sex - Real breasts and real penises are usually smaller than those in porn. Most women don’t shave off their pubic hair. Most men don’t have penises that can stay erect for long periods. And most people take some time to be aroused and don’t want sex the whole time. Expecting any of these things in real life usually just makes people feel pressured and insecure.
Fake sex - Though porn actors are having ‘real’ sex, porn doesn’t focus on them as real people with real characters and feelings. It only focuses on the ‘body’ bit of sex, not the ‘feelings’ bit. For most people, the most intense sexual experiences come from ‘chemistry’ with someone else. That’s about who that someone is as much as what they look like.
Faking it - Porn actors are usually paid to do what they do in front of the camera. That means they agree to do things which often aren’t what most people would agree to do in their day-to-day sex lives. Putting pressure on someone to do things seen in porn is never ok and will usually lead to them feeling uncomfortable, under-confident, and less sexually satisfied.
Aggressive sex – Porn often shows men being aggressive and in control and women happily being dominated. The majority of porn shows aggressive behaviour directed at females and is almost always about male pleasure. Porn is made to sexually arouse its viewers, and from the industry perspective, it doesn’t matter how unrealistic, rough or degrading it is, as long as it sells.
Porn sex is not safe sex - Often porn shows multiple partners having unprotected sex. Condoms are very rarely discussed or used.
This film from Australia describes porn in an interesting way.